I was recently out with some friends and we started talking about confidence.  (Shocker, I know).  I’ve been working with a lot of male clients and teaching them how to BE more confident.  Yes, it’s something that can be Taught, Learned, and Developed.  

We all know what a Confident MAN looks like, right?  He walks tall, takes up space, he speaks with authority and his voice is heard clearly.  He’s often the guy who’s talking to strangers, coming up to women, sending pretty girls drinks at a bar.  He’s often aggressive & goes after what he wants.  He exudes dominance, security, and self-assurance.

All of those traits and qualities are great for men, but what do men think of Women who behave that same way?  It is attractive?  Are men attracted to “Confident” women?


We’ve all seen them.  The girls are the bars who wear racy outfits, tons of makeup, and aren’t afraid to approach men.  Some even come up and ask the guy to buy her a drink.  I’ve actually seen a woman come up to a man, a perfect stranger, and pinch his butt.  Obviously that’s an extreme, but it’s more and more common.  More and more Women are acting with this kind of “confidence”. 

So I asked my trusted panel of men.  Is that “Cougar-like” behavior a Turn On or a Turn Off and WHAT does a Sexy Confident Woman look like?

The response was unanimous.  Although the attention grabbing outfits, exposed cleavage, very short dresses, extremely tight clothes, lots of makeup and hooker heels WILL get the woman noticed, the men are actually turned off by them. 

The Men I’ve talked to Describe a Sexy Confident Woman using the following:

  • She’s positive, happy, and has a good energy about her
  • She has a great sense of humor and knows how to take a joke
  • She’s comfortable in her own skin
  • She has great posture & walk
  • She’s intelligent
  • She’s dressed to accentuate her figure, but isn’t over the top
  • Her hair and makeup are feminine and natural looking
  • She’s polite, graceful, & well mannered
  •  She’s mysterious
  • She knows how to carry a conversation and is interested in people
  • She knows what she wants and is passionate about her career, hobbies, and life
  • She’s independent and doesn’t rely on attention or acceptance from the people around her
  •  She’s comfortable with silence – not needing to constantly talk and is easy to be around

 Questions for My Male Readers –

What are your thoughts?  Is the above list a good list of the ideal woman that you men are looking for? 

What do you think of the women you see or meet out who are Aggressive and dressed Provocatively?   Are you attracted to “Party Girls”?

I’d love to hear your comments and feedback