Hey Miss Marina,

Sorry to be so negative but I seriously hate dating!  Is there any way to skip all the nonsense, waste of time, and meet someone without having to suffer through dating?

Hopeless Rick


Dear Rick,

You could always be adopted into an Indian family who’d arrange your marriage or you could buy a wife on a mail order bride website.

In all seriousness though, I feel you.  I completely understand your frustration and know how tough it could be out there.  The online dating revolution was supposed to make dating so much easier, right?!  Instead, we find ourselves scrolling through pages of singles, using Tinder as a game of confidence boosting, spend hours crafting custom messages that go unanswered or unopened and actually go on less and less dates than ever before.

Dating is vital.  It’s a very necessary process that all of us need to go through in order to learn.  Learn about what we like, don’t like, the type of personality traits we can’t stand or must have in someone.  We learn about our insecurities, test our boundaries, and figure out what really fits in with our life and lifestyle.

Dating can be super fun though!  And it SHOULD be fun.  We all just overcomplicate the entire process and are so confused about what the opposite sex actually wants, that we give up before we even truly try.  We begin the process with already crazy expectations & visions of meeting “the one” in the first 5 mins of browsing a site.  Fantasies inspired by romantic comedies fueled by the need for companionship after slaving away at the office.  I recommend trying your best to detach from the outcome and focus on the process.  Throw some strategy into the mix and approach it with an entirely different mindset.

For you Rick, all you have to do is portray confidence, assertiveness, and show intent.  You have to learn how to lead. Top that off with some cocky humor and your dating life will be sizzling.  I’m being totally serious.  Most guys really suck at online dating & women just want a decent looking guy to ask her out.  (I know I know, you’ve probably sent a lot of messages w/o getting replies. It’s hard to tell why w/o seeing them, but I can pretty much guess that they were either boring, lame, or needy and desperate.  And, you probably didn’t send enough of them!  It’s a numbers game, Rick.)

It still amazes me how well my scripted first messages work!  Remember, your first message is the most important part of online dating (followed by your photos and then the actual text on your profile).

Here are some previous posts that will help with online dating:




If you’d like more help, check out my Online Dating Consulting Services.

Now, change your attitude, fix your approach, and get out there and make dating amazing!