Gentlemen of the World:
Please: Read, Fix, and Don’t Repeat.
1. The Dreaded Undershirt
No, you do not need to wear one *Unless your dress shirt is see-through and you don’t want your nipples showing. In this case, please wear a V-neck undershirt or a “wife-beater” style. Nobody wants to see the top of your undershirt. It actually ruins your outfit. Yes, a dark or black undershirt is better, but it still should not be seen.
2. Not Tucking in a Shirt that’s Too Long
Not all shirts need to be tucked in, but if the crotch of your pants/jeans is hidden and the back pockets are covered by your muumuu of a shirt, please tuck it in.
3. Wrong Socks
Go to your dresser right now and throw away all white socks that you own. Right now. Do it! Men, if you don’t know when white socks are appropriate, you shouldn’t be trusted to own them at all. White socks can only be worn to the gym. Please invest in other colors. Fun socks are a trend and are great, but if you’re trying to look put-together, match the socks to the color of your pants, unless you’re wearing jeans or khakis, then match the shoes. Cool? Cool.
4. Walking Ad Douchebag
Please stop with the Ed Hardy, Obey, any other overly in-your-face tee’s. Nobody is going to like you more because you spent too much on a t-shirt. Invest in clothes because they’re quality, fit well, and look timeless – not because you’re a label/brand whore and need validation from the world. It’s not cool and never will be. Sorry.
5. Oversized Clothing
Clothes that hang on you or are too baggy don’t do anything for your body. It looks messy, cheap, and sloppy. Fit is key. You don’t look more muscular or skinnier. Trust me. If you don’t know how clothes should fit, purchase a GQ magazine immediately or call me ASAP.
6. The Bulge in your Pants
No, no, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about the huge bulge on one side of your behind that’s sticking out. Why in the world do you need to carry every single credit card/discount card/library card and a wad of cash with you everywhere you go? A wallet should be slim and undetectable when inserted into pocket. If you need more, then get yourself a bag – a man purse.
7. Wearing Shorts & Socks at the Same Time
If it’s too hot to wear pants, you should be rocking some flip flops or sandals anyway. The only exception here is if you’re hiking or going to the gym, in which case get some low-rise/no-show socks, not the mid-calf babies.
8. Outdated Jeans
No relaxed fit medium washed denim allowed. Throw away the True Religions with the crazy pockets. Get yourself some great fitting dark denim and move on with your life.