Hey M,

I read your blog post on “online dating”.  I will admit, I found it rather interesting and agreed with most of your points.  However, I feel like you skipped over an issue.  I feel that when it comes to online dating, women are just having men throw themselves at them day in and day out.  Women keep saying they want more than a “Hi” and after we craft a clever response they just delete it without even reading it.  They constantly say one thing but immediately contradict themselves.  We (men) could have an amazing profile, and do everything perfectly, but I feel like most women are just so jaded and overwhelmed with online dating that they just don’t care and it ends up being just a total waste of time.

So, my real question is – Because online dating is drastically different for men than it is for women, is it just a complete waste of time?  What’s your opinion?

~Justin

Hey Justin,

I’m not exactly sure what you’re asking me here.  Feels like you’re just fed up and are looking for validation? Sympathy? Permission to give up?

Yes, dating on all fronts can be a very exhausting and time consuming process.  I know this.  You’re constantly putting yourself out there, vulnerable and prone to rejection.  It sucks.  I get it.  But, why you’ve come to a conclusion that it’s a waste of time for men to online date is a little strange.

No, I don’t think it’s just Men who struggle.  Nor do I think Online Dating is more difficult than dating in general.  And Yes, I do believe that anything worthwhile will require Clear goals, Effort, and Persistence.

There are many men and women who are extremely successful with online dating.  Those types are driven and know what they want.  They’ve taken the time to put together a great profile with great photos.  They’re dedicated to finding a partner, and they’re open to love.  They’re optimistic and have a great energy about them.  Those things come across in how you present yourself on your online profile, your messages, and in person.  Just because a bunch of women didn’t respond to your clever messages, doesn’t mean you should give up.  But, if you feel like you’re just getting ignored by the females online, I’d take a real serious look at yourself and what YOU are doing that is not working for you.

Do you yourself have the qualities that you’re looking for in a partner?

Are you only interested in women who are completely out of your league?

Do you communicate those attractive qualities that women want in your profile?

Do you come off needy or desperate?

Do you have passions and interests that women would be drawn to?

Are you a man of good character and have purpose in your life?

Are you a gentleman who’s articulate and takes care of himself?

Do you have a sense of humor, wit, and are fun to be around?

I’d start working on you first and focus more on those desirable qualities, then see how much more the women online respond to you.  Assuming, of course, that the women you’re interested in are great, quality women who also possess those same amazing qualities.

Hope that helps inspire some thoughts…

~M