How To Not Blow It Early On

Ever meet an amazing person who just blows your mind the first, second, third, tenth time you meet them and you're swooned. Your face hurts from smiling so much thinking about them and you can't help yourself from daydreaming and thinking "Wow, is this the "One"?".  Well, he/she may be.  But below is my advice for making sure that you don't "blow it".

 

"How do you move slow with someone you are crazy about and not blow it."
~ James

 

Hi James,
I would probably need a little bit more context than just the below, but there are definitely a lot of different things you can do to not "blow it" with someone you're crazy about.
1.  Stay Cool 
What I mean by that is do whatever you need to do to not give too much and get carried away with a daydream and fantasy of this girl and your future together.  It's very easy to fall in love with the concept of this individual and the idea of a relationship. What they say is very true - Love is blind.  Make sure you're not just in love with Love.  Give yourself reality checks daily if not hourly to make sure you're keeping it together.
2.  Don't Give Too Much
This applies to attention, time, gifts, affection, details about yourself, emotional stuff, etc etc etc.  There's a reason humans are attracted to mysteries.  Let situations dictate which stories about you are appropriate, circumstances encourage deeper topics, and allow for the chemistry to build so that you both are definitely on the same page through the intimacy journey.
3.  Be In Control
Especially as a man, you need to always be in control. This means that your job/career/purpose don't get neglected.  Your friends/family relationships don't begin to suffer just because there's a new lady in your life.  You still find time for your hobbies, and that you're the one setting the tone for the relationship.  You decide how much time you spend together (she'll let you know if she's not okay with your plan, don't worry).
4.  Have a Plan
A man with a plan is super sexy and women are drawn to that. It's the biological programming in us that desires a man who is strong, assertive, and accomplishes things. A provider, protector, and planner.  Have a vision for how you want your life to go and stick to it.  Have a plan for the relationship, too.  Realize that dating is for getting to know each other and to confirm whether or not you're compatible for a future together.  It's not just for fun, hookups, and adventures.  Make sure you yourself are in that mindset and communicate your intentions and goals for the future by being a man of character.
I know those are kind of "big picture" tips.  Here's a few everyday ones:
1. Don't Text Her Too Much!
This also applies to not replying to her texts immediately and with a list of questions (it only encourages her). Try to spend more time on calls and in person as much as possible. Stick to using texting as a means to schedule those more in-person scenarios.
2. Make Weekly Dates
Quality time is one of the most common Love Languages for people. One of the best things you can do in this situation is make plans in advance to see each other. Plans mean : Date/Time, Location/Location of meeting or pick up, and What you'll be Doing (unless it's a surprise) which YOU should know exactly what you'll be doing.  Have a plan, man!
3.  Keep Working on Yourself
Just because this awesome girl entered your life doesn't mean you shouldn't be working on improving yourself.  Physically, mentally, etc.  We tend to get a little lazy when we first get into relationships and our healthy habits, rituals and routines become less of a priority and then, months later we find ourselves unhappy with the results of this and resenting the person or the relationship.  To avoid this, stay on track.  Schedule YOU time and make sure to continue improving and working on yourself.
Hope that helps and if not, let me know a little more about your specific situation and I'll try to reply!
Cheers,
Marina

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